I have been in two sexless long term life partnerships now, each case the man lost interest and we became roommates. The first time, my daughter’s father lost the ability to think of me sexually once I became pregnant with/mother to our child. The second time, my partner lost his libido after he became a caregiver to his ailing mother. In both cases, polyamory made the difference in allowing everyone to be happy.

The polyamory community is full of women with husbands who have lost interest in them sexually (and vice versa). This happens a lot for all LTRs with any gender configurations, we just don’t talk much about it happening with men, because not wanting sex carries more shame for men in our society.

Familiarity breeds contempt as the saying goes. Humans need a certain amount of novelty to be healthy and happy, so you often need to introduce it intentionally into a marriage. If we don’t consistently work on improving ourselves and our relationships, and trying new things together, life partnerships grow weedy and fallow. The spark WILL die without regular tending.

Never take each other for granted. Never stop dating each other, and don’t let life get in the way of romance and play for too long.