I have had a different experience. None of the men I’ve dated were taught to clean by their parents, and all of them either lived in horrifying squalor or hired a cleaning lady to do even their dishes and laundry before they met me. I have taught at least six or seven grown men friends how to use a laundry machine! The only men who seem to know how to clean were in the military, but they had other issues that made dating hard.

I am not controlling. In any cohabiting relationship we divide the chores fairly, and I refuse to parent him by micromanaging. So for years, I have lived in a house that gets vacuumed or swept *maybe* once a month, and watch the kitchen trash and recycling overflow onto the floor every week. He literally walks by the overflowing rotten food piled on the floor by the can several times a day, and does nothing. If I point it out, I’m “nagging.” If I do it myself, I don’t “trust him”.

I don’t invite guests anymore because our home is embarrassingly half clean, half gross, and I’d have to ask him to do his chores, which I shouldn’t have to. So his laundry sits on the floor till he runs out of clothes. The bathroom would be disgusting if it weren’t my job. His junk mail remains piled on the floor under his desk in the living room. He can cook well, but his dishes will still have grease and even food on them after he washes them, so I insist he use the dishwasher always, for our health.

When he goes out of town, I don’t need to clean hardly at all, because I am naturally neat and clean as I go. I use the time to deep clean.

This is my FOURTH longterm relationship like this. My current partner is actually cleaner than previous ones, though he still asks me how to use the washer. All my female friends have the same complaints I do. Most men in our dating bracket it seems were literally never taught how to do chores, or take good hygienic care of themselves, and it is so tiresome. Especially when I make most of the money, too.

Every divorcee and widow I know, including my own mother, is happy to not have a man to clean after anymore. If my partner and I don’t work out, I will never cohabitate again.

I get that some women are controlling, but most women are mad because so. many. men. DON’T KNOW HOW to clean or take care of a household at all; they don’t even know how to be good housemates with other men. This makes them a burden in relationships, particularly when we are working forty hours or more too.