I’d argue that realizing you have betrayed yourself and given yourself away to a loved one’s (or society’s) pressure to be something you are not is probably one of the biggest reasons women end relationships.

Starting as children, we women are socially pressured to be “good girls” and are regularly, strongly encouraged to set aside our own needs for others so as to be “nurturing.” Later, we are encouraged to marry, and/or have kids, and/or delay or quit our career track to stay home with them when we really don’t want to. Everyone tells us these things will make us proper women, happy and fulfilled, but for a LOT of women, this just. isn’t. true. It’s needless self-sacrifice that we often don’t recognize until we’re mired in it, and miserable.

People typically have mental health challenges when we betray and deny our true needs and life goals for too long, and this can lead to depression, breakdowns and huge sweeping changes like cheating, divorce, addiction and even suicide, when we just can’t take it anymore.

I’m glad younger women are generally more honest and true to themselves than we were able to be, and are simply opting out of stupid, outdated gender role pressures if they don’t fit. You can’t have a bitter, family-disrupting divorce when you feel completely free, confident and clear in saying no to kids you don’t want from the start.