If you want a role other than paycheck and sperm donor, you will have to--gasp--actively assume another role. You'll have to take an equitable share of things like housework and kid care until that bar graph looks about even. You'll have to be a partner.

To be fair, a lot of men do just this. My current partner is a very engaged step-father, and he goes out of his way to help balance the household workload. Many of my friends were stay-at-home dads simply because they were the parent that wanted to, and they could afford it economically.

On the other hand, my daughter's father sees her once a year.

If you want respect, be respectable. If you want a different role, show up differently. If you want to feel good, lift someone up. This goes for men, women, everyone.