I’ve been socially and sexually adventurous my whole life, since I was 14. I’m 52 now, and I’ve been polyamorous the entire time. My community is full of similar people. I don’t really know anyone strictly monogamous, and in my city, poly is NORMAL and accepted. My longest relationship is 18 years—longer than most marriages. I have three friends who have been legally bonded (bigamy is illegal but there are workarounds) to each other for 25 years!

I agree trying to fix a broken marriage with ANYTHING except counseling is a recipe for disaster, but there are many, many people out there in the world happily living in plural marriages, polycules, QP families, and other ethically nonmonogamous structures, including swinging.

If you are wired monogamously, of course you don’t understand what it’s like to be attracted to or fall in love with multiple people, but we’re not all wired monogamously. Not at all. And not everyone shares your conservative values on sex, and that’s ok too.

But why criticize how people relate, when you yourself have chosen to be celibate?!? You almost sound like a Christian moralist telling others how to live. Telling poly people to shut up and “keep it in the bedroom” sounds dangerously like when they tell us LGBTQ people to shut up and “keep it in the bedroom” instead of talking about our relationships or expressing public affection with our partners. Not a good look, my friend. Your squick is not anyone’s problem but your own.