This happens a lot in gay relationships too. And sometimes it reverses in straight relationships with the guy begging for crumbs. It’s not a male-female thing; it’s a push-pull transactional approach to relationships. If a relationship isn’t fulfilling or drains you, don’t demand change and set that dynamic in motion, just ease off till you find the right level, or just move on.

I can’t tell you how many bullets I’ve dodged and time I’ve saved by not overfunctioning in relationships. People who can’t match my energy, confidence or communication skills just fall away. My partner is a net gain in my life because we both know we don’t need each other; we choose each other.