You really should get out more, make some friends, especially of the female sort. Unless you truly are Quasimodo or the Grinch, you seem determined to believe a very bleak, self-limiting narrative borne out of your past hurt. But it’s just a narrative, not true for anyone but you—precisely because you believe it. Narratives can change.

I wish you could meet my ex. He is 5’10, bald, but otherwise very hairy Jordanian, middle-aged with a gut and a dead end white collar cubicle job, but he is polyamorous with three to five girlfriends at any given time, precisely because he could charm the venom out of an angry cobra. He also has tons of female friends. He doesn’t use pick up lines; he uses humor and friendship, I couldn’t handle being girlfriend number four, but he was so much fun! Still friends.

Enjoy your defeatist narrative. I’m sure it gets clicks. Me and my girlfriends will be out here in the Plaza enjoying the company of the many charismatic “average” men who just want the chance to make us laugh.